I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
