My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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