Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
