I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
