the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
