May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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