told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
do nipples grow back?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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