Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You need Xanax blowdarts
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
