You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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