wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I CAN MOONWALK!
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
a search helicopter?!
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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