Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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