im drinking this country out of the recession.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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