she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
