I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
