I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
So much Jack, so little girl.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
