Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
