Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
