No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
