I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
