Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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