At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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