I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
