Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
