he wants to bone in the snuggie
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
