Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Do you have feelings for this penis?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
