Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
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