How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
