Apparently you make a good broom.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
