You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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