PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
