Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
