when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
