4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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