remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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