the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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