I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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