Hey man sorry I got all grabby
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
bring money and cleavage
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Randomize
