sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
