next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
