Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
