I wannas sexs uuuuu
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
