I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
