This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
