we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
