Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
