He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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