I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
