physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
