gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
