Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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